My name is Julie Crue and I am the founder of Custom Creative Clocks and this is how it got started as a bootstrapped business, how it grew and where it is today. I hope my story will encourage and inspire other victims of narcissistic abuse to realize their own vision and see that no situation you find yourself in is hopeless if you have enough determination.

It was about four years ago that I made the mistake of giving up my condo and my own independence to move in with my boyfriend at the time, a decision that was both a curse and a blessing, because although it was a horrible situation I got myself into, if it had not have happened, Custom Creative Clocks would not have existed, you would not be reading this now and there would be a lot of people who would not be proudly displaying their favorite people and pets on their wall right now.

I never was very good at relationships and I was very naive and too trusting of people, believing everything I was told, and oblivious to red flags and not noticing when people would advantage of me, so it’s not surprising that this man who was my boyfriend at the time, was able to hide who he really was until about two months after I moved in with him. He was fun at first and I think the main thing I liked about him was the fact that he is a reptile lover like me and I thought that we were great together because we both enjoyed keeping reptiles.

It was probably about two months after I moved in with him that I realized I had made a huge mistake by giving up everything I had to move in with him because he turned into a cruel and oppressive tyrant and began isolating me, it got so bad that if I did have to go to the store for something, i would be nervous and full of anxiety, watching the time, feeling as if I was doing something terrible by simply being at the grocery store I would rush and hurry to get back because there would be a lot of trouble for me if I was gone too long. I went from having my own place and having independence and freedom to living like a prisoner in contrast.

Things got worse and worse, as time progressed and because he did not like me talking to or interacting with people, he went to places where he knew I interacted with people and tell anyone who would listen awful things about me, people who he knew I talk to and interact regularly with when I am allowed to leave the house, like the people who work at the 711 and and at the pharmacy, he would go in and paint this picture of himself as the poor victim of this horrible awful girlfriend that he has living with him, about how I take advantage of HIM, how much he struggles to take care of me and about how terribly I treat him, and I did not understand what his purpose or agenda was by turning anyone who I casually chatted with against me, and then I figured it out later.

It was something that narcissists do a lot and the purpose was to further isolate me from interacting with humanity because when he would start having one of his rages towards me, usually for no real reason, he would say, “ nobody likes you, the people you talk to who work at the 711 and at the pharmacy all HATE YOU but they like ME!” They feel sorry for me and they don’t understand why I don’t just get rid of you, etc., well what he was doing was causing me to stop going to the 711 for coffee everyday and when I had to go to the pharmacy, I would just get what I needed as quickly as I could, and avoided chatting with the people who he says can’t stand me. What he was doing was trying to get more of his “flying monkeys” to sympathize with him and see him as a victim.

Art imitates life and so it is with Flying Monkeys. The term was coined from the movie The Wizard of Oz in which the Wicked Witch dispatches monkeys to fly and get Dorothy and her dog. The monkeys obey her command, doing her dirty work for her, taunting and terrorizing Dorothy as she tries in vain to get back home. And so it is with narcissists and their flying monkeys. His “ flying monkeys” did not taunt me or terrorize me, but they DID treat me differently and it caused me to be very uncomfortable being around them, knowing that he was telling them horrible lies about me.

When the narcissist wants to evoke some punishment on a target (me) they dispatch their henchmen (aka flying monkeys) to do their bidding. Unfortunately, this can and often does include abusive behavior such as guilt-tripping, twisting the truth, gaslighting, assaults, name calling, threats, and violence.

Things got worse and worse, he was always putting me down, calling me names, he was becoming more angry and violent, he even told me one day that I was not allowed to sit outside on the lawn chair because people could drive by and look at me. He did not want people to look at me. He told me that if I HAD to sit outside, I would have to go sit BEHIND the house, in the back yard where cars would not be driving by, he told me I wanted to sit outside because I wanted attention from strangers.

Things were escalating and I did not want to end up dead like his live-in girlfriend prior to me did. She actually wound up committing suicide by hanging herself right before he moved me in, I did not think much about it then when it happened, I just thought she had mental issues, anyone who would actually kill themselves MUST have mental issues, but after what I went through with him, the things he did and said to me, now I can see how he is easily able to treat a woman so horribly, and wear down any ounce of self confidence or self esteem she may have, to the point where a weak and fragile person would actually go that far. Thankfully, I am a strong willed person who does not ever just give up.

I was isolated in the house all day and night without barely any communication or interaction with anyone, so I started doing crafts, the crafts turned into a hobby, I was making epoxy resin wall decor which evolved into making shadowboxes and then I started making shadowboxes with clocks built into them, mostly nautical and sea turtle shadowbox clocks, I got really good at it, made some amazing sea turtle clocks and because these clocks were actually shadowboxes, I would add sand, seashells, LED lights, and other ocean related objects. I wound up having so many of these clocks that I had to start selling them and of course, I would have to give HIM money from whatever I sold, so I rented a vendor table at the flea market a few times, but could not sell any at the flea market. I was discouraged, but I was not going to give up.

I started thinking that I have to come with something, besides sea turtles, that people would really want to buy. Then one day I suddenly came up with a brilliant idea, right out of the blue! People would definitely buy a nice shadowbox wall clock if it had THEIR OWN pet’s name and photo in it instead of a sea turtle! And not only THAT, but also since it is made with a SHADOWBOX, and a shadowbox is actually a DISPLAY case, that instead of seashells inside the clocks like I WAS doing for the turtle clocks, small objects could also be put in there, objects like the dog’s collar, tags, favorite toy, etc.!

There it was! There was my vision, my goal and my plan, and I am going to pursue this and since this COULD BE my way out of this terrible situation I had gotten myself into by rushing into things so quickly before I got to know him, this is part of my “escape plan!” I had no money and I had no friends or family here in Florida (my family all live in North Carolina) so I was all alone, on my own, and I certainly did NOT want to go live at a shelter for abused women, and THIS is the “light at the end of the tunnel”, so I got started on my plan right away!

I jumped right onto my desktop Macintosh computer and started creating design ideas for marketing and advertising purposes. I made a lot of very nice prototypes and “mock-ups” so that I could start advertising right away. I will NOT be sitting at a table at a flea market getting discouraged because nobody is buying. This time, my selling is going to be done completely online!

I took a lot of pictures of the prototype clocks that I had made and created some advertising materials, I knew EXACTLY what I was doing because I had been a Graphic Artist for many years, so a created a few eye-catching display ads in electronic format for online advertising. I had to figure out how to get free advertising because I had NO MONEY, anyone who is planning to start a small business knows that you need CAPITAL (money) to even get started. Fortunately I was able to bootstrap because startup expenses were not much at all because I ALREADY had the computer, printer and software for graphic design, so I really only needed to buy the frames and motors, I just kept re-investing revenue right back into the business until I was actually making profit!

When that mean boyfriend came home and saw all of the nice prototypes I had made, and saw me working on my computer and in a good mood, he did not like it one bit. He did not like to see me happy about anything because his attitude was that if HE has to be miserable all the time, then WHY should I get to be happy? I have no right to be happy while he has to be miserable and that is EXACTLY what he believed because once he even SAID those very exact words to me one day when I got caught in the kitchen singing. He flew into a rage and it turned into a major blow up because I had the audacity and the nerve to sing and be in a good mood, how dare me insult him like that by being in a good mood when he is not.

Once I got all of my prototypes and marketing material finished, I began advertising in the HUNDREDS of REPTILE GROUPS that I belong to. I made some prototype clocks with pictures of bearded dragons, ball pythons and other reptiles to take pictures of and use in my advertisements in these groups and it did not take long until I got my FIRST custom clock order, I was thrilled!

When he would come home and catch me making clocks, he would get very, very angry at me and one day, he had a glass of milk in his hands and poured it all over me because I was making clocks! I told him that I was going to start making a lot of money by doing this (but I never told him I was planning to save that money to move out with) and he laughed at me and said nobody wants to buy your stupid clocks, I said, “yes they do. I’ve already sold one” and he then told me that unless I was going to give HIM any money I earned from making clocks, it does not BENEFIT HIM in any way for me to be making clocks and honestly, those were his actual words!

I continued advertising, marketing and selling custom pet photo clocks and they were more popular than I could even have imagined! I hid my clock making and shipping supplies from him in the garage and continued building and growing my business whenever he was at work. When he would fall asleep, I would sneak out to my car late at night to load up my trunk with clocks that people had ordered that day to ship out the following day.

I started contacting a few local pet stores and told them that I have some standard, already made clocks that featured the most popular exotic birds, fish and reptiles on them that they could purchase from me at a cheap wholesale rate, markup to whatever they want and re-sell them for profit. I even incorporated each retail store’s logo into the clock design for their own exposure. That was when the custom photo clock business really started to take off, because I had a few pet stores who were carrying my clocks as well as some different bird and reptile breeders who were regular vendors at exotic pet expos and events were buying them in BULK from me because in order to get them at the cheaper wholesale price, they had to purchase 10 or more, otherwise they would be full price

As his fury, anger, rage and abuse began occurring more frequently, I said to myself I must leave this raging maniac as soon as possible, but I had no money, I have no friends here in Florida and and all of my family members live out of state, so my only real option would be to go to a shelter for abused women.

My sisters decided that they needed to get me out of there and that this was never going to stop or get ever better, so one of my sisters flew to Florida from North Carolina to help me move and to get a rental car to put all of my things in, and my other sister told me to come stay at her house rent free so I can save up enough money to get my own place in Florida because she knew that I would never be happy living in North Carolina for any longer than absolutely necessary. Florida is my home and I was very uncomfortable leaving Florida, but I knew that I would be able to save up enough money to come back because the clock business was already going well, and by living with my sister, I would actually “be allowed” to work on clocks everyday, all day if I wanted to.

So I stayed in North Carolina at my sister’s house for about 8 months and I kept myself from being too depressed about having to leave Florida by really working hard, pushing the sales and marketing online, creating, designing and building clocks just as fast as I could. I would sometimes get jumpy if I heard someone come down the stairs or any sudden noises because I was afraid I was going to get caught making clocks, but then I’d quickly realize that it’s okay if I’m making clocks, because I’m not with him anymore, but it was still kinda hard to get used not having to do it in secret anymore, I don’t have to rush back right away when I go to the store and it’s perfectly okay for me to sit on the FRONT porch now.

I was getting a lot of business, everyone seemed to want one of these shadowbox clocks with a photo of their own pet, i could hardly keep up, but this was a good thing. I decided that if REPTILE clocks are THIS POPULAR, I’m going to market these clocks to other exotic animal groups, so I went on Facebook and joined different groups such as, exotic bird groups, rabbits, ferrets, hedgehogs, prairie dogs, Axolotls, horses, tarantulas, fish, frogs, sugar gliders and even made some ISOPOD clocks! I knew that I was on the right track because I am now able to offer a product for pet and animal lovers who can NOT just go into their local petsmart and purchase a product with their favorite animal on it unless they are looking for something with a dog or cat because you will not be able to walk into a pet store and purchase a clock with a bearded dragon or a tegu on it, well …….. that is……. UNLESS…. THAT PET STORE happens to be one of the stores who are purchasing MY clocks in BULK to re-sell for profit!

I saved up enough money to move back to Florida and that is where I am now, back home in Florida, running an entire business all by myself, doing it all, everything from concept to marketing /advertising, to selling, to creating and designing all of the clocks with my graphic design skills, I do all of the billing and invoicing and on top of all that, I do the packing and shipping so I have a lot on my plate, but I’m enjoying every minute of it! I am also now creating memorial clocks for people who have lost a pet or a loved one. I have even come out with a few lines of product collections and put them on my website.

I did not even know how to create a website until only receintly, I sat down and taught myself, it was complicated and pretty challenging, but at least it’s functioning otherwise, you would not be reading THIS right now. I do everything from home, I’ve turned my bedroom into a custom clock factory, and best of all, I got away from that horrible creature that used to control me. I am by myself now, I get lonely sometimes, but things are so much better, and it’s going to be a LONG time, if at all, that I will trust men after that ordeal.

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